I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
