3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
