Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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