Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
