it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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