So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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