So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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