u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
