Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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