we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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