I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
