Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
