careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
