I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you inspire me to be a worse person
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
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