careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
