watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
