can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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