hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Pooping to opera.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
