so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
