i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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