i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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