i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
