JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
