Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
