sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
