i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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