you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
