Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
