My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
