I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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