I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
