I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
another moral hangover. fuck.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
