I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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