Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
