He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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