Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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