he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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