im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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