You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
