Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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