We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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