my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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