I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
