I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
