I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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