whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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