Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
