You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
her vagine was all disorganized.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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