I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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