guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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