why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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