So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
